Marriage Monday ~ Encouraging

What does it mean to encourage someone? A pat on the back? A little cheering up? A simple “way to go, good job?”

While these things can be encouraging, what does it mean to REALLY encourage someone?

Merriam-Webster says that to encourage is to “inspire with courage, spirit or hope,” to “spur on,” or “to give help to.” When I think about inspiring and spurring on, I think about more than just a pat on the back, don’t you think? When I think about encouraging my husband, all I know is that I really want to do a good job at it.

I’m sure this is not an exhaustive list, but I can encourage my husband by:

~ not saying anything negative thing about him (to him or anyone else.)

~ listening to his ideas, plans and thoughts

~ SAYING THANK YOU (don’t take him or anything he does for you and the kids for granted.)

~ doing my best as a wife, mom, homemaker (because he’s worth the effort.)

~ praying for him!

I think we can also say that if we try to be a positive person, thinking positively, dwelling on good things, then we will probably be a more encouraging person overall.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

And to take my first point further, more than just not talking bad about our husbands, but if we guard our speech overall, avoiding that which tears down and striving for that which builds up, surely this will also contribute toward a more encouraging attitude.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ” Ephesians 4:29

I’m not sure what else to add, I’m sure I’m not thinking very clearly! (I asked Big Daddy what to add but he shrugged.) ;0) I did a little looking online and found a 30 Day Challenge to encourage your husband from Beth Moore at Revive Our Hearts. If this is something you’re interested in, it looks like a good place to start.

I know this is short, I want to *encourage* you to step in and discuss this with me. Throw out some suggestions and ideas and questions. How can we be encouraging to our husbands without nagging or pushing? What do you do to be a positive, inspiring influence?

If you would like to join in, the rules are simple. Link up an encouraging post about marriage with the direct url to the post. Next week’s word is “Forgiving.” Join us then for more Marriage Monday!

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June 18, 2012 7:56 am

I thought I’d join in today! Thanks for hosting… my husband is an action kind of guy. He doesn’t need encouragement in words as much as he needs encouragement through the ways I can support him in our home and in our ministry. I’m a word girl and love words but I’ve learned the value of encouragement through actions too 🙂

June 22, 2012 6:49 pm
Reply to  Jenilee

Thank you SO much for joining in — I really appreciate it! My guy is definitely an ‘acts of service’ kind of guy. I know that he appreciates it and feels more loved when I do a better job keeping up around the house, making sure that he has clean socks, cold tea to drink and snacks on hand. I’m a word kind of person, too. =p

June 18, 2012 4:01 pm

“I think we can also say that if we try to be a positive person, thinking positively, dwelling on good things, then we will probably be a more encouraging person overall.” ~ Couldn’t agree more! I love your Marriage Monday posts!!!! :o)

June 22, 2012 6:50 pm
Reply to  Marlene

Thank you, Marlene! And I look forward to your comments every Monday too! (And not only because they’re often so flattering – hehe.) =p

June 18, 2012 8:15 pm

I think knowing your husband’s love language is a big deal when it comes to encouraging him. Exactly like Jenilee said, you have to know what kind of things encourage your husband. Maybe it is acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time and gift giving–or maybe some combo of two or more. One of my husband’s love languages is quality time and so if I really want to encourage him it is important to make sure I am giving him my quality time. He loves when I listen and hear all his thoughts, dreams and plans and… Read more »

June 22, 2012 6:58 pm
Reply to  Jess

Good points! I’m glad y’all are the same love language. =) (My hubby and I are opposites!) =p I never realized it until this moment but I have, in the past, when I knew he’d had a bad day or was in a bad mood, made an extra effort to pick up and clean around the house before he got home. I don’t want to be one of those wives/moms that throws food at problems but I could also add making some brownies or something. =p With him being an “acts of service” kind of guy, sometimes I feel like… Read more »

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